The Thing About FEAR...

This is a long one (but I do think it's worth it) so grab a cup of tea and some biscuits.

 *yumyum*

I have spent the majority of my life so far being very very scared…and the scariest part of all? The fact that I didn't even realise it.

Fear is so common that sometimes it's incredibly hard to even recognise, let alone change! Of course some types of fear are necessary, even good. For instance, being scared of crossing the road with traffic racing towards you or jumping into shark infested water. I don't think anyone would call you crazy for being afraid of these things. However, there are certain types of fear that sneak up on us, so stealthily that we don't even notice. It's these fears that cripple us and compromise our standard of life! 

I can only speak from my experience (and I'm by no means saying i'm perfect now!) and share my story with you…so here it goes…

I guess I should start with how this whole post came to mind in the first place. A few nights ago I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep, I was thinking about my future, what I wanted to achieve this year, what I wanted to accomplish in my life (pretty standard stuff!) when all of a sudden I started to panic. I couldn't picture myself achieving anything!

 Now I'm one of those people that when asked the question 'What do you want to be when you (finally) grow up?' I reply with a casual shrug of the shoulder and some answer about how I'm excited to see where life takes me and I don't want to be held down by any concrete plans. Now this isn't a complete lie…but it's not the whole truth…of course there are things that I hope and dream for in life…but somewhere along the line I not only got scared of admitting these things to other people…but I also got scared of admitting them to myself…fast forward to a few nights ago in my bed and look where I've ended up…

The worst part of it is that this wasn't something I'd decided to be afraid about…I was left feeling out of control and frankly a little upset…slight understatement…VERY upset!

Unfortunately this is not a feeling I'm unfamiliar with. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, Fear is something that I've dragged around with me for many years. I was so scared in school that for the entire duration of my school life I never once put up my hand to ask to go to the toilet. You might laugh but it's true!! I simply couldn't handle the thought of merely talking to a teacher.

I battle regularly with shyness. Just having to talk to people used to make me incredibly anxious to the point where I'd rather do anything else but talk! 

We all have areas in our lives where fear is unfortunately ruling but the important thing is to never give up. It's easy to look at other people and think they've got it SORTED…but I'm telling you YOU ARE NOT ALONE! As the saying goes 'Life is a journey, not a destination' and fear is just one of the many bumps in the road that we will all face. 

My advice to you? Well…firstly be easy on yourself! There's nothing worse than getting frustrated with yourself. FEAR IS NOT YOUR FAULT! When In was 16 I changed schools. I'd left my incredibly wonderful friends :) and been stranded in a school that was not only unfamiliar to me but I knew NO ONE!! Absolute NIGHTMARE! I was absolutely terrified! For weeks I sat with people who were gracious enough not to turn me away, but I had absolutely nothing to say….I couldn't join in a conversation, I couldn't offer anything…and to make it worse I absolutely hated myself for it…I thought it was my fault, and the more I blamed myself the worse I got! The pressure I put myself under didn't help a thing. You cannot expect to conquer your fears if you can only focus on them. You have to cut yourself some slack and don't worry about the times fear wins…the less you care about it the easier you can let go of it!

Secondly, BE STRONG. Don't be afraid to stand up to fear itself! Admittedly I find this extremely difficult. You may be wondering what I mean…well, when you feel confident enough (or I'm my case fed up enough) make yourself do the very things you are afraid of. I know this is nothing new, this piece of advice has been around for many many years BUT IT REALLY WORKS. In my case I literally put myself in situations where I had to talk to people. I joined classes and spent time in new situations with new people. I would still call myself a shy person but the fear and anxiety that I felt has significantly reduced (and I'm much happier for it!). As for planning my future…well that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to take some time to really think about what I want out of life and be completely honest with myself…I'm not going to be afraid of wanting SOMETHING…ANYTHING! To be honest I think it would be a relief to have some goals again!

The final piece of advice I have is to be completely comfortable with YOU. So much fear stems out of how we see ourselves. We don't think we deserve it…or that we're worth it. To the point where like me you just STOP. I won't spend too long talking about this as it's a completely different subject, but I have spent the majority of my life not accepting who I actually was, always wanting to be like someone else. It breaks my heart to see young girls trying to 'fit in' as I know what a truly devastating place that is to be in. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand that you are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are the PERFECT you :) If you are having a tough time accepting yourself start with remembering that I accept you for who you are :) You are a perfect creation SO BELIEVE IT!

Well if you have made it to this point WELL DONE!! This has been a long (and slightly emotional one) I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on the subject, as I said before I can only take from my own experience. There is so much more I could say but I really don't want this to be any longer so I'm going to stop writing….now

xox

(okay I lied ;) )

P.s If you have any questions about anything I've said then just ask :) I don't claim to have all the answers, this is a journey I'm still on, but I'll have a right old crack at it :P

LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!!